I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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