Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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