Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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