I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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