Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Randomize
