maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
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I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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