it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
