Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize