This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
