I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This is the high leading the old right now
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
