the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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