i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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