Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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