You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
