help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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