Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize