Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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