remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
