How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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