i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
