it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize