Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
