go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
