woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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