i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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