i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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