I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have demons in me.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
