he thought i was a dude.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize