sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
