from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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