my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
