Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
