dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
