Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
