Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
