Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we have officially lost it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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