either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
