therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize