I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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