So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
