Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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