If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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