Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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