I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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