a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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