I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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