is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
