We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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