u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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