You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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