im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
