haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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