If i come over, it means nothing
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
