very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
