Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm just crazy horny about you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
