She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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