just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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