i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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