He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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