Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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