He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
