do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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